So it turns out the white chocolate in the bathroom is actually soap
my sister just canceled her nose job because she thought it would hurt too much
It'll hurt less than being alone
I sometimes forget that turkeys are alive even when its not Thanksgiving.
sperm doesn't mix with malibu too well
he had two deer mounted on his dorm room wall with panties and bras hanging from the antlers... i cant believe i contributed to bambi's headgear...
The girl with a dislocated arm just did an assisted keg stand. You will never have an excuse again.
I do remember getting hit in the face by an ugly one because she thought I was blowing on her butthole.
I walked outside an you were laying down talking to a star about your life. That's when I took the bottle of jack away...
I think you are the only one slutty enough and evil enough for the job. Just go in and blue ball him. He broke my nose in Middle school. He deserves this.
He somehow pantsed the bouncer and tipped him over before cartwheeling and skipping away? Help me find him.
Depending on which video of him streaking you watch, you can see me passed out in the front row.
I ended up in th ER yelling my height weight and age
I just need a fucking pair of pants. Is that too much to ask for?
I've come to the conclusion, I should prob have at least 20 hr supervision. I would say 24, but I'm guaranteed to pass out for at least 4 hrs a day
It was weird, it was like my heart got a boner. Is this being an adult?
Randomize
