office poll is still running 100% that Spencer Pratt is more disturbing than David Carradine's death
my drunk uncle just explained that turkeys are not gentle lovers... and no context doesn't make it better.
I think you missed the wrong class. Im pretty sure we were taught how to buy cocaine.
I just threw up in a patch of wild flowers on the side of the road. I never knew rock bottom was so beautiful.
Hahaha I asked him about her bjs and he said "I would not wish that on anyone"
Check Facebook. Random dude tagged us in photos from last night dancing at Denny's while eating a sampler platter. 1. How does he have our names, and 2. You said we ate at Tbell.
After he called me a "spirited little girl" I realized that I need to stop sleeping with guys more than ten years older than me.
It's like even though I'm not in college anymore my body still knows it's September and is putting itself into competitive binge drinking mode.
I pulled my bra outta my purse. Covered in honey mustard. I still lack an explanation.
Remember that time you bought snap bracelets on Amazon and they sent you 300 pregnancy tests instead? Amazon knows.
My joke about liking my coffee like I like my men IS ABOUT TO COME TRUE.
You snapped me at 3am drunk laying on your floor asking if I knew how we couldn't have predicted the housing crisis.
I asked him if we could have sex sometime and he sent me a three page long text about his feelings for me. that's the only possible situation I've ever run into where a "k" response would have been more appropriate.
Dude I'm pretty sure everyone in my office knows I fucked our boss...can I ask for anything better?
I'm still very high. To be blunt. No pun intended.
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