Ok let me ask a question, does aderall make women less apt to have sex?
Cause it just destroys penises
Was that inappropriate? I can't gauge these things anymore
We pay for beer, you give birth. It's how the world works.
I'm trapped in whichever ring of hell is populated by inbred yokels and type 2 diabetes.
I am sitting on the floor by my oven watching my cookie dough blossom. This is a whole new level of fat
I just threw up on the floor. And we're gonna fuck on the beer pong table, so keep everyone upstairs.
I'm just pissed at the whore who takes over my body when I'm blacked out.
Just peed on my foot. Thank you Sunday hangovers.
Whoever brought the pigeon, please come and remove it from my living room.
I need to find out this kids work schedule. I need mustache rides on my lunchbreaks.
I lost the bet. I now have to do all chores sans clothing of any kind. I give it a week before I'm knocked up...
Just reminding you that you are currently drunk spooning a chair saying it "loves you unconditionally". No more rum.
Idk. The bad part of me thinks it's a good idea. The bad part is also the stupid part.
Do you know how difficult it is to snap a good dick pic while driving?
You can’t judge a dick by its balls.
I just broke into my house with a butter knife. It kinda scares me just how easy that was.
Randomize