sooo how much is appropriate to spend on a vibrator? what if it is really legit looking?
He told me he looked up all the foods that make cum taste better and he put it all on his moms shopping list. she came through my line. this ones a keeper I think.
I basing my decision on whether or not to date someone on whether I could imagine having sex with them sober
You need Jesus. Or a midol and a snickers. Whichever.
It was one of those "since we're naked anyway" type situations
Today might be the day that I legitimately throw up in my saxophone.
Please make the clown in the corner stop judging me. I mean he's the one with paint on his face. I don't need him judge judying me.
Oh god, so much rum. I think I was in a shotgun wedding with a Bacardi promotion girl.
I came to the party for him. I don't know where he went, but I mentioned being hungry and his housemate brought me a huge tupperware container of berry cobbler. I think I'll stay.
Running late for a date because I couldn't get my clothes out from under the dude I spent the night with in time to leave when I planned. This is my life.
Hooked up with a guy dressed as Miss Frizzle last night... Asked if I could ride his Magic School Bus
I ended up in th ER yelling my height weight and age
Regardless of how one feels after a break up, whiskey must be consumed.
Just let me suck your dick and be happy. Let me have this.
her and her boyfriend kept giving me coke ad kissing me talking about my awesome boobs
Randomize
