dude i dont realllllly have to fuck her do i? its just a mess down there and i think im gonna cry
I just opened up the mens room door to a dude pissing in the urinal and pointing at himself in the mirror
the last thing i remember is ordering pitchers of white russians....
ok, she started talking about how she swears her step dad killed her mom. starting to back out of this one
people at meijer look at you funny when you have 37 bottles of champagne in your cart.
Wash that dress asap. You laid down on the kitchen floor and tried to sweep the floor with your body.
Just told my mom sparks is a health drink. Officially getting hammered on the way to the beach.
How could you not respond to a text containing the words "goat man" ?!?
last night we were hooking up when all the sudden he just murmured "mm blonde". i don't know what to think about this situation.
Do they sell "congrats in losing your virginity!" cards and do they come in gay?
Went to 7-11 to buy condoms with the $20 I found on the ground outside Rite Aid. A good day for drug stores
I taught a straight girl about grindr today. She showed me tinder. It was like some sexual cultural exchange program
Your the only person I know that needed stiches after a Monday morning conference call. How are you in your 20s? How
I don't care if his family has ties to the mafia, you go over there, ride his dick until it breaks off, put his dick back on, and keep on riding. Lather, rinse, repeat.
Thanks for the support, sis.
She yelled Carpe Diem when she orgasmed. Is it too early to marry her?
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