Blackberries need to come with a feature that disables texting to certain numbers after 2am based on content. liek disabling texting to 'dad' containng the words 'lets try to find more blow.'
So I don't have any furniture but we just skateboard drunk around the floor.
Oh, don't even get me started. Harry Potter is so pure. Twilight is just teenage girl porn.
I guess so. I don't really give a fuck. I think I'm going to jerk off really loudly tonight just to keep them on their toes
I have to cancel. My sons dad is out of jail unexpectedly and i'm kinda an emotional wreck. P.s. This is not the life I dreamed of as a little girl.
I bet. I bought a surfboard and a kite and filled my camelback with vodka-tonics. Let's do this
My vagina supports interfraternal relations
When people ask about my bruises, I'm just going to say it was a doorknob. Or possibly a group of doorknobs. Angry doorknobs.
We call it "Dishes: Hard Mode". Basically whoever is doing dishes gets head but needs to finish the dishes before they cum.
And so far nothing been broken!
He's not messing around tonight. 4 fist pumps.
He offered to let her do a line of coke off his hard-on. She said she'd had that hard-on and it would be a bump, not a line. Everyone laughed. That's why he left.
So that answers the first question but not the second: how the fuck am I getting home?
Well. We had sex and then watched 6 episodes of Dateline NBC together; only breaking the silence to make disapproving noises at shotty police work. So basically yea I'm gonna marry him.
Update: they told me I was twerking to twenty one pilots
So I got cockblocked by our relationship status last night
? I'm just sitting watching something borrowed alone, crying in my boxers , feel like I should probably do something
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