Don't forget I'm 20 now
I liked you more when you were 19
I just made friends with the guy at the coffee shop in borders. And by that I mean he stared at me until I was uncomfortable and left.
Went home with a 29 year old from the bar. Life lesson: 9 year olds stay up late sometimes
I just gave head in the laundry room on campus. He said it was one of the best moments in all of history. Take that, neil armstrong.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I wish a night of watching Dear John and a bottle of wine could cure my herpes.
He's married, a coworker, and a smoker. not sure which personal rule broken i'm most ashamed of...
Does she usually listen to trance and cut up broccoli when she's high?
please come over and have sex with me so we can talk about prom and kill 2 birds with one condom
There's never a time that i stay at this apartment that when i wake up in the morning and sit outside to smoke a cigarette that i don't feel ashamed of myself.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Well. Your father was, shall we say, privately surfing the Internet when he found a video of you and Kevin. This was on a very public website honey.
By the way, Kevin! OMG good catch honey!
He referred to our sex as being similar to "Two cheetahs cage fighting" and I have to agree.
Then, right before he came he said "I want to buy you so many things!" What the fuck?!
Got paid 100 bucks to babysit a kid for five hours while hungover. I slept the whole time and threw up twice. Yes 100 bucks.
Well this guy just went into a detailed lecture about how rinos are developing into unicorns.. It's gonna be a good night.
I sort of feel bad for this orthodontist. The things that have been in my mouth in the past 12 hours aren't exactly socially acceptable.
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