Forget about socially acceptable. Make me happy instead
There was a pool of blood on my desk and we still don't know who it belongs to. missed a good party, man.
We walked because you started screaming when you finally realized he wasn't Ben Bailey and it wasn't the Cash Cab.
The parties out here are fucking awesome and I've got the grades to prove it.
I've never watched DWTS before, but this show's got Pamela Anderson, Erin Andrews and Brooke Burke: 3 of my top 10 all time most masturbated to women.
Please tell me what happened last night... specifically who told me it was a good idea to pee in my shoe.
I just wanna go home eat some pizza rolls, get warm and jerk off, and it's only 845. This shit was supposed to make me see unicorns. Not cry
We're past the whole "Did she just try to finger my ass?" Stage. Now it's encouraged.
you took the tequila shot and then procceded to eat the lime..we told you to spit it out but you just straight face kept chomping
He just fingered me to the Lion King soundtrack. And when he left he turned dramatically and said "I'll be back after work. Be prepared." Taint ALL the childhood memories.
Remember when we partied so hard that dude died and it cockblocked you hooking up with my sister?
I forgot that happened. That's the second dude that died on a vacation I've been on
2012 needs to end already. I've exceeded my quota for People Who Have Accidentally Seen My Tits.
If anyone wants to ring in the new year with gluttony and yoga pants, let me know. As soon as it becomes a socially acceptable hour to drink margaritas, I'm gonna go down on a chimichanga.
One of the art pieces was basically this chick throwing raw meat at the audience, anyone who got hit (which I did) got a free shot of whiskey. It was worth it.
He just snapchatted me a picture of his cock. The angle makes it look like a freakin skyscraper. Thinking of photoshopping a little monkey on it.
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