So we fuck and I say, "I'm about to go." He tells me, "No, leave at ten.. just lay here for a little while." When I ask, "Why?!" He gets his feelings hurt and says, "ugh. or don't." Since when did guys start acting like girls?
i was in the bathroom puking my brains out, a girl walked in and said "i just came to do the same thing" so i told her i would move over and share the toilet. its better than being alone.
So basically he tried to get out of the car and crawl on the highway with the broken leg because he didn't want to go to the hospital. It was not a good time...then we got pizza though.
These shoes are way too nice for a walk of shame. Its how I keep myself in line.
Just had a memory of you pretending to be a begging dog putting your head on my lap while I fed you. Great night to try a new drug.
WHY ARE YOU SMOKING WEED WHEN YOU JUST HAD A STROKE. AND MORE IMPORTANTLY WHY ARE YOU DOING IT WITHOUT ME.
Last time i carry you out of a forest
Nothing is worse than post drunken playoff baseball loss sex
am i new drunk or am i still drunk
So my Mom pointed out my vibrator on the night stand next to my stun gun and reminded me of how much I drink.
Give me 20 minutes.. I'm going to need to start off with an orgasm to get through this day
But I made it seem like I wasn't hungover at work, so that's a plus.
See I insist I'm not a groupie and then I say things like "will bang for a backstage pass".
I think I achieved my goal of being high for 24 hours in the same week I promised myself I wouldn't smoke anymore
You'll be pleased to know I just had an elaborate day dream about your penis. you were there too.
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