I just rolled a spliff on a dora the explorer tv tray. Preschool education meet afterschool special.
i wonder what barack obama's brickbreaker high score is...
Have u ever been so drunk that pissing urself felt like a better idea than walking to the bathroom? I entered those waters last night
Thats how high i was. The fact that he looked like Seth Rogan was apparently a good thing.
Dudes got a Polo tattoo. I don't care if he has a yacht I can't handle that level of gay.
I passed out leaning next to a light pole. When the cop woke me up at 4 AM, I told him I was a block away from the apt, just had to stop to make a puke pit stop.
Do you have any idea how hard it is to concentrate on legal issues with the ghost of his giant penis in me?
I would makeout with my roommate, but im not drunk enough and she doesnt like bacon fat
Excuse me hold on, hooking up with someone who is verified on twitter is like being important.
Nvm, he just almost drank his drink from last night, his drink that has the condom in it. Kinda answers my question.
bro your seconds weren't very sloppy last night, is everything ok?
Hahahaha .. If it makes you feel better I had a sex dream about a cheeseburger last night so I feel like we both lose.
I barfed on the cat last night. Just wanted to share.
This drunk girl kept yelling for water so I dipped a cup in the toilet and gave it to her. She was thanking me all night.
i don't know what happened one minute im stumbling home drunk and the next im drinking pabst and smoking with a french guy ive never met named hugo.
Randomize
