so i had a choice between studying for my physics test on fluid dynamics or spend the night with my girlfriend. hello doubletasking.
Words of Wisdom: ordering a pitcher of whiskey cokes, putting a straw in it, and calling it your drink is not socially acceptable
So me and friend just finished Eiffel towering this girl and sounds great in theory but after the high five has commenced its just a weird threesome especially when you make eye contact with your buddy during the session
can you pick me up an extra syllabus
i passed out in the shower again
Yeah, I was googling pictures of sharks, and I accidentally typed "shart." Huge mistake.
Their bromance is so intense that they don't even eye-fuck when they see each other....they eye-make-love.
I'm at McDonalds and when I walked up to the register the guy said "I'm so sorry." Before I said a word. That's how bad my hangover is.
I've see this movie. You sext me after the bar and fall asleep mid sentence. Roll credits.
I can't be drunk. Sober yes. Drunk no. Spoonfuls
I'll try not to. I have an appointment at the hospital tomorrow so my goal is to wake up there.
Grilled cheese and whiskey for lunch is why i should NEVER be a housewife.
You should make it a point to use vocabulary that is competition appropriate around him, like "champion" and "training" and "victory sex"
I do not mind being torn from the first touches of sleep to see a man who looks like that
Just rode a bull topless for a free bar tap for a month
Aww his grandma died? That's sad! No mourning sex!!! That doesn't lead to good things!
Randomize
