do you think he would believe thats it not really my period, and that i ate a lot of licorice?
Just tried to tap morse code on the wall seperating our beds to tell you I was awake and ready to smoke
the last girl i hooked up with and the last guy i hooked up with are hooking up right now. this is where bisexuality becomes a problem.
Whatever, she only has 293 friends, she cant afford to be defriending me..
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
She's yelling about threesomes and realllly wants you to come over. Put the pieces together.
I will fight anything that is not spinning right now
He pulled a kid having a seizure out of a car and stayed with him until the ambulance came.
he what???
Not kidding. My ovaries cannot handle this shit...swear next time he'll rescue a bunch of pound puppies and hand them out to lonely orphans.
and here comes the time of my day when I haw to convince a guy to drive my cape and my handle to my dorm.
I immediately regret the tequila decision.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Yo, how much weed can I get for a caf swipe?
They're magnificent. It's like god made her last but hadn't fulfilled his boob quota.
Funny how I'm trusting a magic 8 ball I found in the kids toy section to tell me about my sex life
I started carrying sissors in my purse to open plan B with. Both ashamed and proud.
I'm basically the yoda of knowing when someone wants to sleep with you
Last time I went to flagstaff I threw up in my beard. I would very much like to recreate that moment.
DO IT!
Randomize