I need a slap back to reality. Or at least a slap back to homosexuality
im surrounded by empty glasses of chocolate milk WTF
if another girl says "im usually cleaner down there" I'm just going to shoot myself
if i were reduced to my simplest elements, i would be jizz and glitter.
Just know that as we speak i am injecting vodka into gushers
I know, but I was really high and I felt like a failure dragon because I could only blow smoke, no fire.
ripping the fire alarm off the wall probably seemed like a better idea last night than it really was.
my memory may be fuzzy, but the 20+ naked pictures I sent him were surprising clear
Hows cali? I thought of you as I shaved 1/4 of my legs last night.
Well, my eyeball is red and the rest of my eye is black. Oh the joys of drinking with u. PS- I laid in a pile of sawdust. it was ok at the time.
Reasons I shouldn't drink... My twitter drafts keep getting more and more emotional.
Just let me suck your dick and be happy. Let me have this.
Nothing says Happy Thanksgiving like picking cocaine boogers out of your nose at your parents house.
Is it a bad sign starting the new year off naked, wet, and alone?
Asking for a friend of course
I can't say too many people would say watching their drunk best friends fuck in a hot tub is very normal.
Randomize
