I just woke up my dad to tell him that i made out with the drummer. He wasnt as excited as I was.
I just need someone to hold me and tell me i dont turn boys gay
wasted. watching meteors, awesome idea i ever had, see 2 for every 1 with ma double vision
The dog just did a longer kegstand than anyone at the party
We had a race to see who could chug their vodka tonic faster. College doesn't seem to be working for me... I'm getting exponentially dumber
You tried to call "time out" during the sobriety test.
It was a deal breaker when she told me not to wear a condom and god would decide if we were meant to be together.
My usual answer of have sex with it doesn't work in this situation
I've never heard "I will drown your mother in vanilla pudding" as an insult before, and then last night happened.
YOU BETTER NOT BE SHAVING YOUR LEGS RIGHT NOW IM TRYING TO HELP YOU
I will be the DD but everyone has to call me Mistress
His name was toto. That should have been my red flag
I guess you could say that.. I mean, we did walk in on our DD doing a keg stand thru her ass.
Still riding the magical train of drugs so, yeah, Id say I feel great
i looked that guy up on facebook. the one who went down on me for two hours
what's the verdict
i've been scrubbing my vag all morning
Randomize
