i hope S**** or M***** or someone took note of the fact that i was drinking popov like water and could no longer form sentences. i mean, dont get me wrong i had been thinking about boning R*** long before my sobriety left the picture but the number of reasons not to, outweighed the temptation and without sir robert burnett as R***'s wingman, it would have never happened
she started talking about my kids
was she topless?
There was a pool of blood on my desk and we still don't know who it belongs to. missed a good party, man.
sorry I didn't call you. I had your number saved as "girl that offered bj but didn't follow thru".
She solidified the fact that the icon from Wendy's is the only ginger I care for
So even though we broke up apparently according to my voice mail you still like me, with smurfs while riding on a boat.
its coolsest when we hear the beat in our water bottles. and the likghts are in his eyes now. oh holland
Showed up 2 hours late and still drunk nobody gave me a high five. This intership is bullshit.
I wish I could walk around this campus with a big stamp that says "Approved" and just stamp girls asses as they pass.
we drunk the bar out of liquor so the guy was selling us bottles of wine for $2a each. Only good thing to come outta this flood
I'll never forget how blunt of a wingman you were. "Excuse me, my friend wants to makeout with someone"
Seriously just told the plant the cheese Pringles are mine.
Fuck baseball, getting drunk and playing with kittens is the REAL national pasttime
Please don't try and hook up with one of your high school teacher's friends
He thought I was gay. I had to explain I just really like wearing flannel.
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