I wish the inside of the tampon box said "CONGRATULATIONS YOUR NOT A MOTHER!"
I just need to actually convince myself that drunkenly having sex won't help me forget the last time I drunkenly had sex, it only makes the situation worse.
I took us ten minutes to realize the shower sex going upstairs was the reason the kitchen ceiling was flooding.
we drunkly made out in the middle of the street beside the homeless guy playing the flute. Not how I imagined our first kiss.
Oh boy...do i want the 'something you can tell your mom in 10 yrs' version or the 'Im gonna call you a whore but be proud' version?
Clearly my hormones are sending beaming lights to every penis in the area
First week back and I made to one class, its gonna be okay after all.
I damn near set my vagina on fire. WHILE The Flaming Lips played in the background. Intensely apropos.
Guess what I signed up for?!?!?!
Please tell me you're not selling your eggs.
Well I have rug burns in both armpits, somehow. So yes you should have been here
I think I have to break up with him. I just cried, not moaned, screamed, etc, cried, with tears of sadness and disappointment when I came.
I would agree. Whose business is it if I like to guzzle vodka by the liter on my of time? Answer: mine.
She's passed out with a slice of pizza between her boobs should I just eat it and leave
I think I'm emotionally ready to start being a slut again. I'm excited.
Is it weird that I shop for lingerie by thinking if it will look good on both me and your floor?
No. Not at all.
Randomize
