why is it that everyone in pennsylvannia gets fucking prego??
His pubic hair was longer than his dick
last night was fun... but i spent all morning tring to get the candle wax out of my chest hair. We did use candles last night?
you were the first one he came out to and you announced it as the finale while singing karaoke at the bar
I just saw "i'm bigger then that" as her facebook status. Would it be better to make a fat joke or correct her grammar?
I would describe it as pure and unadulterated shock, mixed with horror and a touch of nausea.
I forgot to tell you, wear something you can puke on Saturday. We're christening this marriage with a shot of jager. NOT KIDDING.
I'm sitting on the toilet just to avoid my bosses look of disapproval
Crappy Mother's Day to you! Those of us who don't have children fill the void with hot sex, sleeping in, more sex, leisurely suntanning, foreign travel, overseas sex, paying cash for sports cars, watching TV, having sex on the floor in front of TV porn, lounging around the house, or whatever the hell we want.
Now that I've quit blow, I think I'm allergic to my cat....
She showed up after 3 hours and proceded to make us all feel like resonable human beings. I dont know how she did it but she did it.
If drinking had a "new high score" I think I hit it this weekend.
What even was the context for that. All I have written down is "I would vote for President SnakeJaw."
I made soup. Now I'm having post soup making wine. I had pre soup making wine also.
I found half a candy bar in my bra today... Melted to my nipple. What a mess. It was still good though.
Randomize
