dude do u know what u did last night?
do i wanna know???
you totally walked in on some couple fuckin in their unlocked dorm room asking for directions to ur room...
just saw a girl come out of the tanning bed room on crutches, now thats determination
you know how they say when you die, your whole life flashed before you? well do you get to see what happened all the nights you blacked out?
She threw up everywhere and is crying about a fictional character who died on Grey's Anatomy
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I just got fire extinguished by his roommate while we were having sex. That's just taking cock blocking to a whole new level.
who do I fuck, the girl waiting for me upstairs or her roomate making me mac and cheese right now?? This is the single hardest decision I've always wanted to have to make
Wearing the BK Crown on the throne while dropping the kids off at the pool? Yes, one of my life's goals. Win
Oh yeah forgot to mention that I referred to myself as the oral sex heavyweight champion last night
Like hey, "you just spent $135k to go to a nobody law school to drive a mini van, be a dj, live in a smalllll ass apartment that smells like cats and your girlfriend fucks other guys."
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Passing out is my livers way of protecting my mind.
You're a five foot adderall and caffeine fueled ball of sexual frustration and suppressed rage. It's only a matter of time before you snap. We're taking bets on when.
Is it socially acceptable to break up with someone over snapchat?
We didn't have a place to have sex. So we timed the automatic car wash & spent $9 for 3 minutes and 45 secs of car sex.
I HAVE A TEST I'M SORRY YOUR UN SUCKED DICK ISN'T MY FIRST CONCERN
He’s 21. The president of his frat. I’m 28 and have a career!
Do it. It’s a noble position.
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