went to sleep on the couch in jeans and socks. woke up in bed totally nude no memory of moving. best farewell party ever
erin looks like she hung out with the sham wow guy last night. she's got the beat up hooker look goin' on
I didn't join FB to see my only child straddle that boy in all her pictures.
Eating hibachi. The chef is squirting sake into my mouth with a ketchup bottle. Happened twice, more to come.
So I've gone into the break room to heat up a styrofoam cup 8 times over the course of 4 hours.. that desperate to see him. Now I have a broken heart AND cancer.
just run out there and shit all over the driveway when he comes.. and then point at him
You would ignore him even if it wasn't NoManUary. It could be the Winter of a Thousand Dicks and you wouldn't talk to that guy.
The Winter of A Thousand Dicks sounds terrifying!!!
He came for an unexpected visit and let's just say I shattered his illusion that girls don't watch porn
How long can I keep it classy to hook up in my old office building? Two more years? Does it get weird after 30?
He tried to buy me a drink at dollar beer night. All 3 of his credit cards were declined, so he asked me if I could cover it. Needless to say, I'm not calling him back.
He yelled "I'm Bruce Springsteen!" when he came. This is why I don't sleep with guys from Jersey.
The main motivators in my life are my sex drive and spite
I basically go to him for great dick and great memes.
are you really asking me this. do you KNOW how many times i masturbate in a day? yeah. wrong person to ask about romance.
your mom was just petting me...I am strangely comfortable with it
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