i cant decide if i should go fuck j*** or keep watching real genius
someone owes me an orgasm
Nothing says "This dudes gotta go" better than a boner on your back waking you @ 5 in the morning
Also, our mothers are placing bets on which of us will get pregnant first.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I swear I could audibly hear her vagina slam shut when you walked up to hit on her.
Someone apparently named 'eleaw' just text me asking if I had fun last night.
this just proves how much faith i have in "us".. what should we be for halloween..?
I fell asleep on the bus and woke up in Italian Las Vegas. Europe was a successful continent for me.
The words "me," "sober," and "new years eve" do not go together. Ever.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
When i sexted him a pic of my boobs I was worried he was going to notice the dorito crumbs and know I was just eating topless
I was puking in the bathroom when my fake tooth fell off of my retainer so I just walked out of the bar and didn't say goodbye to my date
I'm not snubbing your weed I just had a really important rack of ribs to get home to
Is using La Croix as a mixer for vodka a legit way to reach my daily water consumption?
Woke up to find that I was cock blocked by no more than three people.
don't worry dude i have your phone, text me when youre gonna come get it
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