Hey, what are you up to?
Drinking wine with the guys and watching 7 Pounds.
Looking back I guess I could have changed that to beer and Die Hard.
i don't remember it, but i know we had sex because my stuffed animals were facing the wall
I just found a beer pong ball in my mail box. I think its a sign
it was just fiscally responsible to stop going to strip clubs where the strippers recognized me
oh but the power of the cock will take you to places you never been..i flew to hawaii once to sleep witha chick
you smelled like vodka, i think that's why my grandma liked you
Just found an "inspected with pride" sticker on or around my vagina
Guess who won a bet and gets to name it Optimus prime if it's a boy
Nevermind. Totally worth it.
I think we should take up crocheing or stamp collecting....something completely lacking penises
The goal for tonight is vagina. In and around. Doesn't matter who. How. Or why.
By the taste of his semen he isnt vegetarian and therefore lied to me to take me home on a brighter note i stole his fondue set
The party was Hollywood themed and I won an oscar for "finest ass in a leading role"
My Dicks been hard all day. Poor guy isn't used to vacation being over
Stole my 7th stop sign and 3rd speed limit sign last night. Not even sure how because they were bolted to a cement wall. Tequila gives you strength you didn't know you had.
Your face; I've seen enough of it for today. Go away now please.
Randomize
