Thanks for stopping me from doing a one man keg stand by myself clad in only a towel. that probably wouldve ended badly.
Vodka infused whipped cream. Shit just got real.
I legitimately woke up with a girl trying to snort cocaine off my dick.
Totally using formspring as an incognito way of making sure that girl from last night wasn't jailbait.
If the blood belongs to whoever dumped glitter all over my couch than the motherfucker got what was coming to them. If not, I hope they're ok.
We need to re-create the Get Some Ass Tour 2002.
Um, 2 out of 3 people involved with that particular event are now married, so I don't think that will be happening.
HELLO, they're MARRIED! They need to get some ass more than anyone.
Okay. So my choices are the sleeping Guy who looks about twelve and a man that looks like he was the original sandman. Im gonna need a beer for this......
We ended up at a lesbian bar and all my co-workers tried to get me laid. This is not how I envisioned coming out.
I have bite marks all over my ass. Is that an acceptable excuse for missing class?
I just found out two girls I dated met each other, bonded over how much they hate me, started dating and are gonna get married soon.
No one should ever be so high that they forget the food. That's just...its a violation of God and Nature, of the very laws that we live by!
How hard do you think it would be to make a drinking game out of a Slip-N-Slide? Asking for a friend.
I'm literally beginning to think that my sex dreams are prophesies
tbh I think I just dated him for his dogs in the first place.
Is it bad when I wake up sore & don't know if my injuries are from sex or the mechanical bull at the bar?
Randomize
