You just made me feel so damn special
Doo rag and shades in the bar. You are missing your future husband.
Do you think Conan would leave his wife for me?
I woke up this morning with my hair wrecked, a split lip, and an "H" on my right knee and a "I!" on my other knee.
i cannot be the only guy who has bought the every day with rachael ray magazine for use as porn
I had to find out that I peed in the box of baby clothes from my mom, who found out from my grandma. New low.
Actually, what with the curvature of the Earth, it's faster to leave from Washington. And Google maps recommends kayaking instead of swimming.
One of the annoying girls in my 7 AM class showed up drunk for her 21st birthday and just auctioned off her fake ID.
I just need to stop hanging out with girls who drink wine coolers.
Still slightly drunk, sitting in Hyde park village. Two small children are dancing and singing "call me maybe" on the fountain in front of me. Am I hallucinating?
She stopped me mid sex to ask if she could finish my ramen, I've found the one.
I suggest both. Please have sex with them and prepare notes for a final comparison.
My brother is so high right now he's eating frozen peas and called them "fucking delightful"
Sometimes a man just deserves to get woken up with a blowjob.
If you think I'm going to drive 5.5 hours just to bang a guy, you'd be absolutely right.
Randomize
