she claims you yelled BOMBS AWAY when you came. tell me she's lying
but she didn't tell you i squeezed, built up pressure, and napalmed her face as i yelled it, did she
well, atleast the road to alcoholism is fun.
glow-in-the-dark stars on his ceiling from '98 totally make blowing him more romantic.
I just bought a vibrating toothbrush with my parents FSA insurance card because I'm too broke for a vibrator. New.Level.Of.Low.
I plan on gettn treatment center drunk
Hypothetical question: If a guy wanted to watch you fuck me, would you be willing to take a long lunch break on Wednesday?
sorry he hasn't talked to me since the surprise salvia incident...
If thou arrisest to consciousness before I, rise me to an office of alertness for occupations such as brunch. Warm Regards, your roommate.
i understand you have values and thats awesome, all i want to help you do is forget about them breifly
Because everytime she talks to you she goes in her room and plays Come Sail Away on repeat. Can't take this shit anymore Jake
Drowning in science and also vodka. Hope you're having fun.
there was a keg and pinata at my uncles funeral, and a bunch of scary looking biker dudes showed up to pay their respects. i need to strive to be more like him.
While I'm here in reality dreaming of catching chili cheese fries with my mouth out of t shirt guns like Jesus is real
Afternoon delight is playing while I take a shit at mcdonalds
Wow i just puked in front of the lady that was drug testing me. I passed though!
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