Is it wrong to scream your own name when about to bust?
I wonder what it would be like to be a slice of cheese.
He had personality for days, but cock for only minutes
My mom asked me to donate my child hood stuffed animals to the poor then I realized I was hiding liquor behind them. I told her I was too attached to them. She understood. Wrong in so many ways.
Would it be bad if I bought her bread, meat, cheese, and stuff as her christmas present so she can make me a sandwich?
Also, ran into my neighbor across the street. He told me about scheduling his vasectomy. We are officially way beyond the acceptable point for asking his name again.
so my mom thinks I'm picking you up just to go buy you liquor before you go back to school tomorrow...
I'm ashamed that your mom thinks I haven't already taken care of that.
Not my man #1 and if he likes it then he should put a title on it. Till then the gates of hell. Aka my vagina are open for entrance.
i could have been the DD. this is ridiculous. i'm the most sober and getting the least ass.
Good news. That bum you thought that died is alive.
Send help, water and tortillas.
Well ill be drunk so just come find me. Its like where in the world is Joey San Diego
She told me having sex was our civic duty. How can I not love her?
Remember that Czech tennis player I brought home from beer pong and banged on your couch last year? He just booty calle me. From the Czech Republic.
Just because my bed is easier to get to doesn't mean it's okay to fuck in.
Randomize
