I'm pretty sure I have jizz on the back of the dress I wore to church. Awesome.
at least after i hook up with someone i have the decency to ignore them
Maybe my heart is located in my vagina
Oh no I havn't even told you about the naked asians yet
my resolution for 2011 is to fuck him whenever he wants it. this year I'm going above and beyond the call of booty.
I thought your voice was coming from the walls. I've never been so relieved to find you naked in a closet
Apparently I texted my high school english teacher asking her to tell me what logical fallacies she taught us three years ago.
If you see my mugshot on the news tomorrow, its not what you think
It summer and it's getting a lot harder to hide sex bruises from my parents.
First world problems?
Let's get weird.
It's 10 am...
I'm assuming that means you're not busy...
He can kiss the multicultural 3 some goodbye
I just bought a butt plug on Amazon prime day and you're the only person I felt would appreciate that decision
Beer and Reeses. dinner of champions
I'm pretty sure the cop knew you were drunk when you tried to light your cigg with a chapstick.
She threw my purse across the room almost broke a lamp and this all started bc she forgot what an air mattress was
Randomize
