mmm... i enjoy making beautiful women smile
whoa...plan B gets you drunker quicker.
Guys who wear capris make me want to kill endangered species.
she just put all the cheese in the refrig to sleep.. and yes we did finish you bottle.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Deadliest Catch is NOT foreplay
He came on my face and told me I looked like a gingerbread house.
I just got while a charlie horse while orgasming...most confusing feeling ever...
This girl told me she was a virgin the other day. I felt like I was talking to a unicorn.
im still trying to figure out who put the honey mustard in the blender then put the entire blender into the freezer
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Ok seriously I'm living off of bologna but I have 4 handles in the freezer.
He has an intense fear that my cat will attack his balls while we're fucking
wanna tell me why theres a glass of water stuffed with tamptons in the freezer?
Sex on the scooter in the parking lot wasn't the smartest idea. Actual quote from the cop as he handed me the ticket and fist bumped me.
He came over apologized for his lack of sexual skills. Cleaned my kitchen cooked me dinner. And gave me another one minute stand. I think im okay with this
I got blackout last night and applied to be a banker
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