You're only the seventh guy she's ever kissed. Somesones gunna get EPICALLY stalked
I was going through my mom's high school yearbook...almost half the people who signed it referred to her as "Karen Smokejoints", "Confused Karen", or drew a picture of a joint. I have never felt more like her daughter.
idk if you're aware of this...but we could potentially have the greatest hate sex...ever.
I saw him coke blaxckout on the subway at 9 this morning yelling at people callig himself the gatekeeper.
Did we literally take a cab across the street
I'm not leaving bed today. And i guess my drunken ass last night hit my roommate in the face with a tiki torch then proceeded to cry while carrying around a picture of he who must not being name. I'm a piece of work.
She has puke on the back of her shirt not quite sure how the hell she did that
He fucked me so hard I had an asthma attack. I'm like the sickly poster child for celibacy.
That super awesome moment when the guy who threw up in your bed last night crawls into your roommate's bed the next morning...Naked...She was in it.
Go christen that room with your naked body.
I think we've gotten passed awkward... the day I woke up at the palms and ur getting eaten out by the dude who just fucked me on the balcony.
He's only giving you free adderall so you can focus on his dick.
Laziness has hit a new level. I'm out of clean sexy underwear and meeting a boy tonight so I'm having a thong delivered via post mates.
He brought me Plan B in the snowstorm.
A+ 👏🏼
I just fell and sprained my ankle in the shower. No, I wasn't having sex. I was doing the time warp. Again.
Randomize
