I un-blacked out around 7am watching J.lo videos on youtube
well..after leaving the bar you handed me your wallet and said you didnt need it cause you were going to find the cash cab and added 'i'll see you on tv'
doing shots has become such a natural thing to me that i just instinctively swallowed listerine
just found a bag of Oreos in my purse labeled "emergency".
Hey remember that thing i said about never apologizing for being a hot mess? Well that was before you found me drunk in the hallway with no pants.
Overdraft my account again. Parents are starting to ask questions. What would go over better a gambling or drug addiction??
I now have a GPA requirement for guys I hookup with more than once.
I don't know how we managed to stay up but we actually sat in front of her open refrigerator for god knows how long while she ate salami straight out of the package with her fingers and I laughed. It was a trainwreck.
Whiskey??
It will be at least another 6 weeks before I say yes again. I'm bruised. I stole sex cards and a really nice pocket knife. I acquired a vial of my own blood. Talk about a yard sale...
People who don't like drugs and guac are not people I chose to associate with
I wish I could take a screenshot of how things literally look from my eyeballs right now
I'm no longer puke free since 2013 am I.
Just packed a snack to eat on the way to McDonald's. That stoned.
Its really awkward pooping while on videochat. Even if you turn the video off.
I can't believe I slept with a girl who has the words shucks in her vocabulary. I'm getting less picky by the day..
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