left comments onEVRY SINGLE1of my posts n status updates.Im done dating freshmen
amateur piercings on our way to the beach? check.
i literally paused in the middle of it, turned on my light, pointed to the picture netxt to my bed and go "you hooked up with my roommate too!!! AWWW!" he was so weirded out. i don't think he understands the relationship we have..we share..
apologized to him about 10 times for being drunk. told him about 15 times that he was "really pretty"
all i remember is him tryin to explain to the girls how to effectively hit the strip club with their bfs
hes actually pretty persuasive when he drinks
Excellent idea. Nothing says "congrats for resurrecting yourself, Jesus" like Greygoose at noon!
It was darkish out, I was shit faced, and they should have marked the electric fence a little more clearly. The entire wedding reception saw me run full force into it
I deserve a fucking award for best roommate. I just cleaned his room, so he can have a 3 some
this lady just pulled corn on the cob out of her purse
People like that make this world a better place.
i want to go make food but i'll have to face my mom after telling her that the random i'm sleeping with, whose name i don't know, told me I was "too slutty to be his girlfriend" when i was drunk last night
In sex ed. they really need to include a lesson on saying tampon in foreign languages, just in case.... Trying to ask the woman at the reception desk, who barely speaks English, for one just turned into an awkward game of charades.
I told him about the time I blacked out and shit myself and he still wanted to have sex with me that night. Feeling pretty optimistic about where this fling is going.
He kept kissing me on the cheek when I was pretending to sleep while he cried
Rarely does a man I fucked with upgrade from me
Hey do u remember the time we used my mascara wand as a drink stirer?
Randomize
