Who wears a wallet chain?!
any interest in drunk sledding later? if not, any interest in driving me to the hospital later?
apparently i'm the only person who has heard from her since saturday. she texted me "burt reynolds" at 2am sunday
Also on a more serious note, what says pull my hair more: straight or soft curls?
I just got a msg from someone saved in my phone as "gouiys stAndingg nezxt me not oz". Omh my life.
Amazing how you can get from "Merry Christmas" to sex in three texts.
I could have done it in 2
This should be a warning to men everywhere: do not send pictures of your erect penis to women you hardly know - they will add cats and send them to all of their friends.
just almost had a panic attack because i couldn't find the granola bar i put in my purse. i miss klonopin.
No but I was fuckin done when I realized my acrylic nail caught fire when I was hitting the bong.
Had sex in a cemetery last night during a thunderstorm. I feel like my goth points have skyrocketed
Not great. "Leave the toilet seat down, it gives me somewhere to rest my face."
Sorry for pissing on y'all's floor last night
His Instagram is like a gay porn blog all of the sudden got conquered by the Mormon missionary that he is
I should stop pointing to my vagina when I say "I'm in charge!"
He made a group chat with him, his wife, & I. Is this really life!??
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