i don't like sucking hair
were with a gay guy with a minnesota accent. think about how funny that sounds.
Put your dick on his face to wake him up, dont worry its fine.
I'm cooking a can of baked beans on the baseboard heater. It is too early in the semester to be this poor.
btw when he was trying to sleep i was apparently poking him in the face w my 'flipper' slurring random manatee facts
while she was riding me, she looked at me and said "this is why mom told me learning how to ride a horse would be important for my future"
I'm on the struggle bus
just ordered a number 1 at a fast food restaurant that doesn't have numbers
As soon as he came we went to Dairy Queen. That drive through lady was very condescending about our "just fucked" ice cream.
why is there blood on my car? and are we still friends?
But I did spend part of my morning scrubbing your cum off my grandmothers piano.
How much booze could a drunk brad chug when a drunk brad does chug booze?!?
All. The answer is always all
I may have had several rum punches and then gone to the store and used European cucumbers to prove my baton twirling prowess.
I don't want my vagina anymore.
Never let me go online shopping while drunk. I now own 2 baby cribs. I have no children
I guess what I'm trying to get to is that my dog sneezed on my dick earlier and its really taken the joy out of my evening.
Randomize
