WHY CAN'T YOU EVER SHIT LIKE A NORMAL PERSON, JESSE.
don't go back without me... they'll know i'm pooping.
Yeah. He most definitely jizzed himself in the face.
MY DAD AND I ARE ON OUR WAY OUT OF FLORENCE AND I JUST SAW A MAN AT A BUS STOP WITH A GIMP HAND SLAP HIS DAUGHTER ACROSS THE FACE WITH IT.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I gambled and lost. Had to pull into a funeral home to clean up with a copy of my resume.
if i see another status about New Moon, i'm gonna punch a baby
I learned nothing from that class except drinking and chemistry go together great.
The cop only confirmed I'm .22% Irish. Then I threw up on him.
How do you say "I'm not pregnant in Spanish?"
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I had one glass of wine then passed out for 4 hours. It's like I'm having a quarter-life crisis.
I just bottomed with the last unicorn playing in the background. I've hit a new level of gay.
I know we were going to go hiking today, but I don’t think I can face reality until Wednesday
Are you drunk texting me again or are you just being your regular stupid self?
yes
I am in no place to make rational decisions, but right now i want you inside me
Like sorry your dick won’t suck itself?
Randomize