Did you see 7 ppl got hurt at Talladaga?
Did they get their mullets stuck in an engine?
I can do anything tonight that doesnt involve an erection.
We drove past his house blaring "Like a virgin" in the middle of the day. pretty sure he heard.
While I was banging her, her cell rang. She checked to see who it was, answered it, and moaned, "I'm dumping you."
Wow. He pulled out his dick and I swear I heard a thud from it hitting the floor.
Almost threw up on my grandmother as she walked in the house. Had to run to the bathroom and vomit my brains out. Prolly getting taken out of the Will now.
There's a certain feeling that only comes from wearing pearls to hide hickeys
do you ever feel so high you're swimming backstroke and then you realize you're still laying in bed on tumblr
in the midst of studying i picked up my capsule full of untouched weed, popped it open, and whispered "soon" into it. midterms man
I taught a straight girl about grindr today. She showed me tinder. It was like some sexual cultural exchange program
He thought I was gay. I had to explain I just really like wearing flannel.
He pretended his dick was a samurai sword and that he was slaying me with it is it bad I still wanted him to fuck me
she just punched him in the balls in front of everyone and yelled "YOU SEE WHAT YOU MADE ME DO"
i woke up this morning with a fake eyeball in my pocket
so i might have slept on your bathroom floor last night...
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