I just spent twenty minutes with brandons dad explaining why head isnt typically considered sex...can we say awkward?
what if every blade of grass was a penis?
I know it may not be fiscally responsible to pregame fifty cent night, but I'm gonna go ahead and do it anyway.
whatever buzz i had immediately ended when i saw her run through a sliding glass door
COME GET ME FR THE HOSPIGAL'!!!!!
Nothing quite like coming out of an alcohol induced blackout walking down Spruill Avenue carrying a silver briefcase full of IT tools you don't know where they came from. This is my life.
I'm gonna cougar town the shit out of that prom.
Broeke and glass. I feel so and. Appilogixe in morbing.
I know we said we never would. But try fucking a fat guy. He put in so much more effort and then made me waffles.
But yeah, that is officially the new "I just came" picture
well you don't shave your pubes into a handlebar mustache and keep the party to yourself
I HAVENT SEEN A PENIS IN 5 WEEKS I REFUSE TO REMAIN CALM
Check snapchat. Selfie game still on point mid vomit.
Your ability to eat ass like its your job and yet turn down quinoa because it's "gross" is confusing.
i just found a pair of your underwear stuffed behind my harry potter books...was that on purpose?
haha no, it was majik
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