I'm drinking away my Christmas cash. People are going to get bar receipts as presents.
never thought i'd see a ''climb of shame'' until she came down from the attic in front of the whole party..
yesterday, he said he didn't trust me around his daughter because "if she was wrapped in rolling paper u'd smoke her." yup.
No, its ok. Im playing strip pretty pretty princess im currently dueling for the crown
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I just realized how early it is, you're taking this booty call thing to a whole other level. also, there are altoids all over my room, that was weird
Don't worry. I told him just because you've gargled some balls in the past doesn't mean you'll be handling his.
I really wanted that to be shared. Thank you.
I've fucked 6 of my brothers' friends. I'm completely fine with him fucking the girl we ate lunch with.
i am bringing shame upon my ancesors with my weak liver valhalla will never accept me
I have discovered my latent superpower. If a friend is dating a bi chick they will inevitably try and talk me into a threesome.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
My phone autocorrects "pooping" to "popping" and I'm like DO YOU EVEN KNOW ME??!
Dude, I woke up with wet dollar bills in my boxers where did you take me???
Did this whole conversation happen while you were shitting?
How did you end up breaking into that laundromat at 3am? I saw the snapchat but like..... How?
I'm not drinking for the rest of the week. I need discipline, celery, dick, and a bible.
Apologies that our conversations always turn to butt sex or penis size. I thought we out grew that in our 20's.
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