I just saw a guy wearing a tuxedo shirt under his overalls. That is true iowa class right there
She was wearing a "Got Beer" hat and your bed had necco wafers all over it the next morning. Another story for the grandkids.
the recent google searches were "were can i buy a porn horse, why does my heart hurt after drinking, and orlando's teen night..." your thought process perplexes me
he busted in while i was showering looked at me and said "youve lost weight bro, no homo" and started puking into the sink
i think i had to give the cab driver my id to get home last night because i couldnt talk.
I have to stop envisioning penises as dragons.
If kinky sex was an Olympic sport they would be playing the anthem for me as we speak.
God I hope the gutter I die in is nice. You know, for a gutter.
I specialize in how to hang out and party with randoms after you've hooked up with them. Not in feelings.
Wait do we still get bagels if no one got laid
I know it doesn't seem right, but sometimes, bagels are just flat out called for.
Think of all the island guys I could have. Ah well.
You can not bait me into a "how Stella got her groove back" call and response.
Omg last night I was giving shots out like I was the Willy Wonka of the alcohol world.
You blacked out at 9:30 and insisted on sleeping in the hallway after you chugged an entire pitcher of beer. I guess the Jell-O shots were stronger than we thought...
I got really adventurous too. Like. Balls in the mouth adventurous.
Drunk me just want to text sober me for saving that half rack of ribs I loves you
Randomize