ppl dont tell me stories about anal. apparently im not a tell-me-stories-about-anal kind of person
She acts like you when your on meds
She acts like batman?
left comments onEVRY SINGLE1of my posts n status updates.Im done dating freshmen
There is a different car in my driveway. Have no clue how I got home.
I'm really starting to miss his dick. Like so much I'm actually tempted to try and work things out with him again.
That bitch ruined vodka saturday
Ugh I miss culture and lesbians already
Lets get real here, ive seen your moms breasts multiple times
Throwing up out both ends. This is not how I pictured adulthood.
I hooked up with a guy dressed as Justin Timberlake, while dressed as Britney Spears. Fuck Jessica Biel, all my 90's dreams are coming true.
He knows whenever I get drunk I'm going to call him and make fun of his major. Its like a reverse booty call.
At least Shia Labeouf would encourage me to do this drinking contest
Hypothetical question: Would it be wrong to tell the annoying children who don't listen to their parents that the motel is haunted?
You fell asleep while I was sucking your dick
I’m appalled by how severely I lower my standards when I’m horny & impaired
Randomize
