can we get nightvision for the apartment?
Great, now everyone thinks I've had giraffe semen in me
I just made a moltov cocktail out of lubricant and a christmas bulb. The fire is still going strong. MERRY CHRISTMAS
Someone just pulled taco bell tacos out of their purse in class....2 problems with here. 1) this class is nutrition 2) taco bell is not open this early.
i'm considering texting him with "i'm leaving the country for a year, wanna fuck?"
do it. it's every man's dream.
In the memo line of the check she wrote sexual healing.
no. 1 rule of bromania: no females
Look. If you're going to be my girlfriend you need to be down with me licking BBQ off your face infront of kids.
What made this night legendary was getting pulled over for looking suspicious while wearing an iron man mask
the cops accepted 42 wallaby way Sydney. and the cops, and cab driver accepted the new address. please tell the win i am experiencing
I like the fact that you've for some reason taken my penis into protective custody
I got propositioned to get involved with an engaged couple. I told them I didn't think my married couple would like me to see other couples...
I love the smell of your bedroom. It smells of a mixture of cherries, leather, and unrequited homosexual desire.
You took one look at him and said "let's hope I don't remember this tomorrow" then you took another shot and chased it with a beer.. I guess it was a success.
I'm keeping both. The way I see it, boyfriends come and go, but a good dick is forever.
Randomize
