Who said anything about talking that was a booty call
I can't believe you blew on her face.
I feel that every long term relationship needs at least one big,load delivered straight between the eyes.
I envy you so much. I get girls who pee on my floor and you get girls who leave in the middle of the night
one of my coworkers is shitshow drunk, getting naked. she's about to ride the bull.
i was just going to ask if it would be cool for me to come and have a beer...
it's total chaos here. i may ride the bull... i'll be visible.
No, pictures of your dick will not make me feel better about my grandmother having a brain tumor.
THC water in my coffee on the way to work. How's your Tuesday?
Good news. That bum you thought that died is alive.
I feel you. We can get adjoining rooms. It'll be like Disney world, but with drugs and ivs instead of roller coasters and Mickey Mouse.
Which is way cooler
this night just went from meh to biblical thanks to drunk naked yahtzee
You told him about your cats? I told his friend to put his dick in my mouth, and you talked about cats!?
I'm so cold without your freakishly high body temperature
that's the equivalent to a normal girlfriends. 'I miss you' btw
And why in he fuck did I get 'dick' in Romanian tattooed on my forearm
YOU RAISED A SWORD OVER YOUR HEAD AND SCREAMED AT HIM WHAT THE FUCK ELSE DID YOU THINK WOULD HAPPEN?!
Lobby closes at 2 AM on Thursday, but everyone walking still wants food... I could run a "Taco Bell Taxi" when I clock off at 2 and charge a dollar to give drunks a ride through drive thru.
Someones thought of a way to afford tuition.
i shit you not. the flight is delayed because they have to change fucking light bulb. all the airport bars are closed and my shit is in checked luggage.
Randomize
