I've eaten ice cream, mentos, an extreme gulp and swedish fish today. i feel like diabetes. the actual disease not a person with it.
Just saw a girl trying to crack an egg with her butt cheeks. I think I know what we're doing thursday night.
We made a trail of cheez balls so we knew how to get back to te apartment.
Seriously... Things should be way more awkward... The entire female half of the bridal party INCLUDING THE BRIDE blew me in high school....
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Do you think I can wear the dress I went to jail in with the shoes I went to prom in to the wedding tonight?
Ok now I cleared out half the bar and Em and I have 5 Jameson shots lined up for you. You have 15 min.
Whoever brought the pigeon, please come and remove it from my living room.
He might not have any marketable talents, but the kid dry humps like no other.
Everyone should know the rule that if your dicks touch during a threeway you just make lightsaber noises and move on.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Is it weird that I want to have sex wearing my glasses and lab coat while having an actual scientific discussion?
Tequila Tuesdays need to not carry on throughout the week. Having a sad Saturday
Thank you for the legal advice. I hope I can pay you in blow jobs.
He used a trumpet as a funnel, said something about valve oil, and puked all over the garage.
So, Kevin dropping me off at urgent care. Seems my tampon slipped out of reach. Even after he tried to get it out with some kitchen tongs.
I'm about to do something based solely on the fact that a fortune cookie told me to. This may not end well.
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