Just walked by a yard full of girls wearing bikinis. I did my best to stare.
well i did drunkenly flip his snowmobile going 90, so i can kind of see why hes mad
When did you hit me on the head with a stool?
I worked hard to give you that boner. No one else should get to enjoy it!
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Dude, on the way home the cab driver asked why you didn't bring a guy home and referred to you as "one night stand girl"
We found you facedown on his couch in a pile of cheerios, with only one shoe on. Dude you said you were staying in last night.
See,its just the last time this situation happened I ended up hiding in a closet on my birthday
The old guy next door tried to get me to go to his apartment for shots formoonshine. =-0
If that weren't so sketchy I would encourage it
Yeah it was almost as sketchy as a white panel van pulling up offering candy
Nothing like the judgmental looks you get in the bathroom when you still have last night's glowsticks on
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Rebecca hasn't has this number in 3 months. Please tell all her friends to stop calling at 3 am. We are not interested in buying or selling drugs nor do we want to hook up with anyone. You all need to go to rehab.
Knowing how to carefully mix my vices has to be the #1 skill I've gotten from pharmacy school
Tell me not to drink and get on ladders. I think I need the reminder.. I'm clumsy enough sober.
We need to catch up immediately. I took ecstasy and made out with carrot face this weekend.
Had a moment of weakness, slept with my ex last night
So that's why our room smells like tequila and shame.
Last night was a bad idea. I'm hungover and the contents of my purse smell like Korean BBQ.
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