i've got a dick and you've got a pussy....what is the problem??
I cant take that shot because i want my penis to stay hard.
I hope the kids appreciate the fact that I jizzed on her instead of on their slide.
Went to the career fair today..I handed out many resumes to find out later that they say I have a bachelor o farts degree...Top that.
im almost positive that in mid thrust she told me she was pro choice
I stole another quarter from the bathroom. I'm slowly getting rich drinking here.
captain&coke to the library. STAT. this is an emergency. this is not a drill. I repeat: THIS IS NOT A DRILL.
O was like, nah, fuck 50-50. My version of bi is that i'm 80% gay, 20% drug-addled decisions. Apparently he's straight on hallucinogens.
The language barrier was annoying .... So we just had sex. That is how you deal with not being able to chat isn't it???
i woke up in just my thong, face first on my bed with all the lights on. how hungover do you think i felt?
It’s just hard to believe you really care about me when u haven’t touched my dick in 2 months
Um..... I have taste. The only thing I am going to bedazzle is my vagina.
my dad just liked my status about my bowl being stolen even he feels my pain
I just bought a slurpee and condoms. God bless America.
So I took a screenshot of my boarding pass and the TSA agent somehow swiped it to the next photo. Yep...TSA saw my dick before I even went through the body scanner.
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