I just put on my hot pinky lace thong... you know what that means! ;)
Oh god. Slutty you is on the run. Someone needs to alert the city.
aaaannd alcoholism beats pride. it's like grown-up rock, paper, scissors
got hammered last night, woke up this morning to 38 texts that varied from "you fucking asshole" to "i can be there in 10 minutes"
Questioning the dried heart shaped nutella on my boobs. Valentines day has begun.
You just kept shouting "I AM AN ADULT!" until he agreed to carry you home on his shoulders.
I DO NOT KNOW WHO SHE IS, WE HAVE NO MORE FRUIT, SHE CAN'T STAY HERE.
There is a 5-year old here fighting 'drunk monkeys'. He tried to knock a drink out of my hand with a plastic light saber...
You had the nerve to crowd surf to your own bedroom.. I guess watching Aladdin high was probably the best idea ever
She tried to beat him up using a half gallon of Bacardi, instead she got tangled in Kayla's hanging bra and broke a lamp. She can party with us anytime.
Tackling and headbutting friends, running away and hiding from everyone, attempting to streak across campus, and then waking up with no sign of a hangover... happy 21 to me
how I know last night was a good night: this morning I found a bottle of tapatio, a bag of chicken and a bag of popcorn in my purse.
Holy fuck, my entire boob is bruised! Lierally my boob is just one big bruise.
Me and some guy are crying in a port a potty together after another guy broke up with both of us.
I remember 2 things. 1. Hanging through the window. 2. And she needing a bucket to puke in. That’s all. I have no other memory.
He only has one ball. it was like fucking a cyclops.
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