I just had one of those nervous system things in my thumb...I'm pretty sure I have cancer.
I boned her and wore a Freddy mask once. It was pretty lol
dude, I'm watching paul blart mall cop. I have better things to do than listen to you whine about your recent divorce.
Her sister's ass was worth my getting thrown out of the house.
Guys are so much hotter at OU. Come my mating season, I am flying south like the geese in the wintertime.
jungle juice + heels + stairs = broken arm
She took off her pants and it was like seeing an old friend.
I just got cut off for correcting the bartender's grammar. I should have never accepted that fucking editors position.
There was a photo of his face glued to a lifesize Kim Kardashian cutout. By the end of the night he was doing shots out of medicine cups and making everybody hug it goodbye.
Are you sighing at your phone and judging me right now?
I don't believe u have enough text space to describe the dimensions of his penis.
So glad I decided to show up and puke in your trashcan.
These are the moments that bond souls forever.
He has no idea he's waking up in slut palace tomorrow morning
that sounds horrible...
what could possibly go wrong attempting to re-enact the dinosaur capture scene from Jurrasic Park... I have the net gun and camcorder you have the dino costume and can run
I told him he had to put his dick inside of me at approx 1159 to ensure it was birthday sex. i was 19 when he entered me.. came out 20. winning.
Randomize
