These people need to leave so I can have rum and Doritos at work like every other American.
I have show me your genitals stuck in my head. Except in spanish. Muestrame tus genitals. Tus genitals.
I woke up hungover and reached for a glass of water only to realize too late that it was vodka sprite with my splooge in it.
she likes to give head while listening to britney spears, getting blown by a girl with headphones on is a nice level of separation
I cant talk about it right now or let you guess, but its something you and i would do. Kinda like that time we had the case of beer and went bowling
You hooked up with minors in a golf cart?
Worst night here by far. And ive slipped in my own piss so thats saying something
Omg I just met another drunk guy that is teaching me karate
Sorry, but you probably shouldn't come over. I'm too sober for this.
My hair is crimped, I am walking with a roadie, and my vibrator is in my purse. I feel sorry for tomorrow.
When he opened the car door the whole thing fell off. Even that can be forgiven via his monster cock.
I've literally exhausted all the videos on pornhub. It took like 4 years, but I've done it. I did that quicker than I finished college
For reals. He's my age and he still hangs out at his frat house & gets hammered every weekend. Idk if I'm jealous of him or if I pity him
Like he was trying to be sexy but he had shit taste in porn so i left
She is either doing really drawn out crunches or trying to sniff her boobs...She's lying on her back with her hand behind her head, forcing her head into the cleavage that's ok to expose and then moves her head back and then does it again.
Do you not realize that being Batman fulfills about 95% of my non-sexual fantasies?
Randomize
