well, atleast the road to alcoholism is fun.
I looked him in the face and asked if we could stop. he asked why. I said "I can't feel it.". ...I feel bad; I should have faked.
At what point in time did you think it was ok to jizz in my hair while I slept??
Around the time you told me my brothers dick was bigger.
Our new goal for this summer is to fuck so hard we lose his security deposit.
The cab driver thought we were passed out so he called a sexline...
What do you need? A swimsuit and a liver of steel? What else?
Cops on bikes. I think I can outrun them.
When I die, I want you to spread my ashes at a Cracker Barrel.
I want to just live in between your butt cheeks.
Is it festive if I masturbate to Santa porn?
He fingered me in a Waffle House bathroom and then stole a traffic cone. Is this love that I'm feeling?
I don't know if dry shampoo will fix the decisions we made last night.
Nobody feels the need to text me back. Men. And I sent myself a message saying nakedness. I'm all the man I need.
It makes me feel all patriotic & free... And borderline diabetic.
well, you know. whores of a feather.
Randomize
