You are still hot in my book. I wanna dry hump u like a 9th grader then hump for real when the herpes is gone.
omg so im topless lying on my bed and i forgot my nail clippers are on my bed and i just leaned forward and the nail clipper closed. on my nipple. ouch
I can't get out of the parking garage so now I'm staying downtown....Typical
so then we both started to do the walk of shame and she didnt realize we had fucked in her apartment until some lady said hi to her in the elevator
you didnt stop her?
too entertaining
I just did the scooter of shame. New levels of embarrassment have now opened.
Y'know, without the cops, it would've just been us daydrinking,
Also, just saw a kid in a gorilla costume being questioned by a boardwalk cop. I love ocean city.
at one point he was caressing me in the kitchen asking me my name over and over again and then asking what my favorite continent was
Passing out is my livers way of protecting my mind.
Winning pick four numbers were just 6969... if I were 18 I could've won 20,000 dollars.
Where were you last night, and why am I not surprised that drag queens were involved?
Woke up with a $50 attached to my penis with a rubber band..
Sweet. Tell little Richard to buy us a sack and a pizza.
Should I apologize to him for saying I wanted to punch him in the face as I was digging through the trash?
I just gave a fucking twenty minute blowiob.. I'm a GOOD girlfriend.
Just got high with dad
Correction: more high. He's sharing gummy bears with me.
Randomize
