oh my she just said cum sticks to her dentures so when she blows if they let her she takes them out
I just dry heaved the smell of jagerbombs....which proceeded to make me hurl for real.
well there was some sort of sex marathon going on in my house last night..jess and i vs my parents...and im ashamed to say that we lost and my parents out-sexed us
don't thank me. stop putting your penis in foreign objects.
This flask doesn't match my outfit. I hope the gays don't mind.
I just found our entire wall-to-wall from September 2006 printed out and clipped... it's 49 pages. Blackout me is so considerate of bored-at-work me
Wow, im gonna be a great doctor..."hi let me save your life but first check out this pic of me deep throating a handle of grey goose"
You must be buzzed on Miller Lite.. Zen master advice is flowing
You declared your undying love to a drag queen, then proceeded to puke into the poor man's purse.
On the upside, no one went to the hospital! Lex's friend was definitely on fire at one point last night though because he tried to juggle tiki torches. He was shirtless this morning and smelled like a BBQ.
So... In conclusion, do I bring my vibrator and risk not only having it getting taken out at security, but also exposing my dad to my neon green vibrator, or just leave it here?
I can't hang out tomorrow. A boy wants to feed me ice cream and touch my boobs. Priorities.
Let he who has not made drunken spaghetti at 3 a.m. cast the first stone.
What the hell did you do last night?
I embarrassed myself, my family, name, and possibly my country.
He sounds like Chris Tucker and wants to eat me out when I’m on my period. If that isn’t love I don’t know what is.
Randomize
