I successfully cooked a taquito with a lighter! My stomach hurts now tho.. im either guna blame it on the undercooked taquito or im feeling guily about porkin my brothers gf a lil bit ago
I just pulled the condom that i lost on tues out of me at work ewwww!
The biggest loser is alot easier to jack off to at the end of the season
ummm i just drove by ur house and ur passed out on the porch. please call me when u get this
I've spent more money on drugs for bonnaroo than my actual ticket. Proudly.
I have six drafts of messages to you that just say "blood" and I have no idea where they came from.
Ur gonna wake up early as dick tomorrow to do some responsible shit but im the one up at 3 am right now cooking brats soaked in keystone light so fuck your falling asleep ass bitch
Naw, the sex dungeon had to come down so we could build a nursery. Cause and effect really.
I really shouldn't be this use to hearing "YOURE THAT GIRL?!?!"
I feel like I would find myself in so much trouble if I hadn't married my DD.
And we had three hours of crazy sex then his roommate ate pizza off me while I was sleeping.
Of course he's seen my tits, I wave those things around like a trump supporter does an American flag
Update: I just threw up in between cars in the parking lot of magic kingdom.
The playlist was "songs to sing in the shower". I literally got fucked to Footloose.
I got a 93 percent on my last mid term and I was drunk. Think of the possibilities if i were sober for the one thats tommorrow.
Randomize
