I just fell asleep with a sandwich in my mouth at Cosi..people definitely saw
My professor is talking about sperm and all I can think about is my mouth
you started crying because you didn't get to wear your rainboots this week so i turned on the shower and let you jump around in it
youre the best friend ever
You guys crashed sarahs vespa into a snowbank and its still there. not cool.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Do your friends by chance have our inflatable deer head?
Nevermind, it's in the dryer.
I have sand in every orifice, there are bruises everywhere, and I smell like a distillery. I love summer.
I kind of drew a blank when the doctor asked me how I got super glue up my nose.
I wish! That ended in 2001 when we all got collectively band from the Settle Inn. As a group we are also band from social events at the zoo. It's impressive really.
I'm all about sex. But even I know there will be a time to retire my junk. And that will be my 40th birthday, or whenever I'm hideous
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Ew. After that you just pretty much proved that your vagina is the reason why my vagina needs two toilet seat covers when peeing in public restrooms
151 hangover. Need apocalypse.
Look bro I'll go half per boob with you, we split her.
I threw up in my backpack last night, but at least it wasn't in the pizza box again
I just made my mom buy me lube. I've reached a new level of broke.
I never realized the effects a broken spine would have on my sex life
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