i feel like a thai whore the morning after the navy left.
Best text conversation ever. Other than the one we had about using blood for lube.
is there an easy way to say "i didnt plan on sleeping with you until i saw how drunk you were" ?
Ok just saw a girl open a pillbox, dump it out on her notebook and count out 13 adderall tabs and put them in a baggie and leave. Oh hey college.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
we made malted milkshakes. malt as in malt liqour.
Just look for the house with the beer knights.
I'm still hoping for it dude. Random north dakota pussy. If my 16 year old self knew that these were my dreams he would so try to beat me up, and i think he could.
Dave got tied up again. I'm done breaking into girls houses to cut him loose. At least before noon.
I still owe him the card with all the sperm paper cutouts falling out like glitter saying " sorry you can't hold your load. Better luck next time "
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Nothing shouts "I'm single" like a thousand needlepoint pillows.
Talking to him sober hurts my brain
... and smoked a joint with my new landlord. I'm starting to like Germany.
I JUST SENT A TOILET SELFIE TO THE WRONG PERSON.
Decided to stay in tonight. Completely sober. Just got two drunken booty calls within 5 minutes of each other. This is my life.
Tonight’s your last chance for a danger free blowjob.
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