Swine flu. Run for my life!
...just for future reference, one Four Loko can fits PERFECTLY in a venti iced coffee cup from Starbucks
We almost died tonight..we almost die every night. but tonight was the closest by far
I don't mean to insult you, but did you leave your training bra in my bedroom last night?
Fuck you for setting me up with the guy from the Nickelback cover band
Payback for not stopping me from fucking the guy in the wookie costume
They just broke the window so they could get in and smoke the taxi driver out...
How bout we save the 40s for when we FINISH the project this time..
8 stitches. Next time I decide to twerk while doing a keg stand, stop me.
He was the highest I've ever seen. Almost had him convinced there are only three colors in the rainbow...
With gravity the way it is and your butt clearly being the size of a bus you'd break your hip or something
She's going to jail in a few weeks but she just got a boyfriend. Yet I'm still single as fuck.
Well that's very sweet of you. I have a strange feeling you're going to regret this when you sober up.
NO REGRETS FUCK DA POLICE
I'm praying to the gods of sex we both get laid this weekend. Amen. Love you
He in a way got kinda cockblocked by Jesus
He literally shouted this Viking war cry when he cam. Then as we laid there he sang me the most beautiful rendition of " When Irish Eyes are Smiling". I've never been more confused.
Randomize
