Cops are here now. U need to come back. Ur not under arrest. But u need to apologize to the woman for what you did to her cat.
I'd suck anything for a pizza right now
i just saw you make out with a girl with facial hair...just thought i would document that in case you forgot
From what I hear, her blowjob factory was runninng at full capacity this weekend.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I think he offered to cook me dinner or cook me for dinner. Not really sure. Just smiled and nodded.
My entire summer has consisted of being too drunk for this shit, too sober for this shit, or too hungover for this shit.
And my only real exposure to Russian culture is you and Internet porn.
Stop trying to get a gf and raw dog some forest beasts like sasquatch
Mike found the condom wrapper on the washing machine and looked at me and said "Magnum? NICE girl. Get that nut!" then proceeded to puke in a cup
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
It's a whole movie about Joseph Gordon-Levitt watching porn and having sex... I NEED to own it..
I walked out in my coconut bra, and that's when it all went downhill.
So, I never imagined myself puking on the side of the road at 10:30 this morning to Lynyrd Skynyrd but here I am.
First time a guy goes down on me and his dog had its head on my knee the whole time. I swear it was judging me.
I just got through airport security with 5 grams of weed in my back pocket. Either I deserve a metal or the government is slacking
Congrats, you are the first person our bartender ever met that actually needed wheeled out of a bar in a wheelchair. He said you were his hero.
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