You smell like stripper and shame
Red Bull/Vodka? You bet I'm showing everyone my penis tonight.
We ended up on a hotel balcony in Daytona where she lured a seagull down with a pizza crust she found in her purse and preceded to grab it out of the air by it's neck.
i take my contacts out every time we fuck so i cant see all the stretch marks
And you kept repeating "I didn't know know that this was a no blow job zone."
I got a phone call from security asking me to do my laundry wearing more than a blanket next time.
He rubs his penis on back when he think I'm sleeping
And is it bad that I haven't talked to guys who I haven't already dated? I feel like a recycle bin.
She looked up at the menu and yelled this is my absolute favorite literacy
You shouted, "LOOK I'M HAWKEYE," and beaned mike with a dildo from across the room.
I've never been so tempted to check my phone during sex in my life.
I don't really want to talk about it, but if anyone finds my unicorn mask with my bra in it, I would really like that back.
Em I need to know if his cum tastes like vodka. Report back.
Not my fault people bought me shots. waving a shot in my face is like waving a cock in yours
What's the point of having a gay best friend if he doesn't play with your titties?
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