It was the single greastest thing to happen to my dick ever
Chipotle...archenemy of the gay man. Cockblocking me since 1997
Do you think royal wedding drunk calls for wine or tequila?
Woke up with his dick on the side of my face, it's like he passed out mid-mushroom stamp.
You have all been randomly chosen to participate in a new game called: how high was I? If you have any information about this or about where my clothing items went give me a shout. Thanks an good luck.
Tried to dodge fire in poncho. Fell through fence. Blood everywhere.
A guy with the name Pootie Tang winked st me and a guy that doesn't speak English messaged me. These are my choices?
Sadly he is straight as an arrow that is designed by a robot computer from the future with lasers.
This saddens me. Mostly because I want to see the schematics on that robot.
I was thinking that, but I'm not sure the proper etiquette on asking about someone's nipple rings. Even if you did see them and compliment them once.
Just gave my pregnant cat a safe sex talk. That high.
how should I feel if a guy kept complimenting my bangs while I was giving him a blowjob?
My legacy here is being that tiny blonde girl that threw someone down and shouted "Fuck your face, I'm Dee Dee Ramone."
Just puked in a cup. Poured it out the window.
I believe you can. But if you can have rum with breakfast then do that. Definitely do that.
So i've noticed that drunk me erases sent messages to hide them from sober me, because drunk me knows that sober me will be PISSED at drunk me.
Randomize
