I hope I don't blackout because this is awesome!
He had a stripper pole in his bedroom. I didn't know whether to be impressed or creeped out.
His best friend walked in while we were banging, turned on the light, yelled BURN, grabbed his computer to play the Thunderstruck drinking game, turned off the light and left.
He thought I was flirting with him but really I just needed someone to hold me up.
i convinced her i need a blow job every morning to wake up because i have a medical condition.
Bang-toberfest begins!!
We have your weave and dirt in our room.
How early is too early to study with margaritas?
Sex and sushi don't even sound good right now... I might be on my death bed. To my Liz, I leave my extensive movie collection and my drinking supplies. To Olive I leave my car. Cause every Scottish terrier needs a 2010 Camaro.
Drunkenly making hamburger helper. I just whispered "I can't wait to have you in my mouth."
Don't worry, I'm sure your thrusting skills are on point.
Are there edibles for sale in the Denver airport because if so bring those to my mouth
Just went grocery shopping with a vibrator in my purse and didn't even realize it. This is what Saturdays are made for.
i was so high when i left this morning that rather than make sandwiches i threw bread and peanut butter in my backpack. a whole loaf. and a whole jar
yeah, I woke up with nacho cheese crusted all over my face and head...a lone jalapeno still stuck in my ear...you win this round drunk nachos....
Randomize
