I tried to give up sex for lent. It feels weird that on easter I'm this excited to be a whore again
why did i wake up to an event notice that says "Shit Just Got Real"?
I got to stop making out with my boss at work. I think we should just get it overwith, be dissaponted and move on.
how do flat chested girls get laid?
Someones car got stolen, everyone is yelling, and im drunk just sayin yeah buddy over and over again
Toga everclear = hospital visit... Im sure the paramedics hate me right now
I'll see ya tonight at your house...and I'm bringing you a special treat that starts with a V and ends with us eventually going to rehab one day.
Santa was walking around downtown handing out stuff at the bars. He gave me a free eyebrow wax. I think he's trying to tell me something
The blackout version of me left a ransom note to the sober self. Somebody needs to control that guy
She sucked my dick and I swear I almost had to send a search party into her mouth to find it. IT WAS THAT AMAZING.
He interrupted me giving him head to ask if I were hungry, because he wanted to eat pizza. Wtf.
So... How much of our rent is drug money?
i just took a huge shit in old main. i think my college bucketlist is finished.
she is currently in the shower drinking a beer and dancing to a song called "the penis song" my roommate is cooler than yours
You just thought it would be a good idea to show your penis to your best friend. No harm, no foul.
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